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| Evil Toons |
Evil Toons
Reviewed by Bomba
Tagline-- First they undress you, then they possess you!
Directed by-- Fred Olen Ray
Written by--Fred Olen Ray
Cast:
David Carradine .... Gideon Fisk
Arte Johnson .... Mr. Hinchlow
Dick Miller (I) .... Burt
Monique Gabrielle .... Megan
Suzanne Ager .... Terry
Madison Stone .... Roxanne
Barbara Dare .... Jan (as Stacey Nix)
Don Dowe .... Biff
Michelle Bauer .... Mrs. Burt
The first thing that comes to mind when I think about the movie "Evil Toons" is definitely boobs. I first saw this movie when I was all of 13 (or so) years old. To a boy of that age a movie with boobs is quite a thing. I remember eagerly awaiting my step-dad to go to bed so that my brother and I could sneak down-stairs and watch movies with boobs on skin-a-max. Sometimes he would sit down there till 3 in the morning and it would just kill us to think about all of the boobs we were missing, meanwhile my step-dad was getting more than his share of silicon-eye candy. I mean it sincerely pissed us off. When we finally got down there usually we were greeted by a movie not unlike Evil Toons.
Now I hadn't seen a lot of "Evil Toons" in the years between then and now, so imagine my surprise when my good friend Fred bought it for me on DVD. Ya see I was telling him about it once, and we tried to rent it but no place carried it. Just when I was beginning to suspect that I had dreamt this movie, Fred, as if by magic (or a pact with Satan more likely) produced it. He camp and I watched it, and much fun was had.
This is one of those movies that welcomes you to turn the volume down so your mom wont wake up, for fear not; the plot of this movie is so formulaic that it would make a rap music-video director blush. Observe: 4 young college students house-sit a big'ol'scary mansion and happen to come into the possession of a demonic book…yadda-yadda-yadda…Dick Miller…badda-bing-badda-boom…David Carradine…boobs-boobs-boobs…run from monster…yadda-yadda-yadda…kill monster…and roll credits. As a matter of fact the ONLY thing that makes this movie and different than the standard horror template is the murderer himself; a cartoon. Really just a poorly animated Tex Avery wolf, but still probably the most likeable character of the film. Except for the boobs that is.
Now for one thing the title is quite a misnomer. There is actually only one cartoon character of evil demeanor in this picture. Perhaps director Fred Olen Ray thought naming the movie "Evil Toon" would just be silly. Not only is their just one "toon" (I put that in quotes because I am allowing the viewer to decide whether or not this creature qualifies as a cartoon or not), but also the big bad wolf doesn't spend a lot of time being a "toon" at all. Ya see this toon has a lot of eerie powers. One of those powers involves saving Fred Olen Ray a little dough on animation costs by possessing one of the young hotties, and spending nearly the rest of the entire movie inside her body. The actual toon is probably on-screen for a little under 4 minutes total in the entire film, and that's mostly at the beginning.
Also toward the beginning of the flick is the scene that shaped my image of what happens at girl slumber parties. I have asked some of my female friends if they have ever stripped for each other during a particularly crazy sleep-over, and although they have all invariably told me they haven't, I'm not ready to call Fred Olen Ray a liar just yet.
The acting in Evil Toons is as would be expected; laughably bad. Madison Stone (apparently more well known to people like Vin as "porn star Madison") is, for what its worth, surprisingly convincing as a slutty girl (that part probably came naturally) who becomes possessed by a Tex Avery Wolf. In future movies, when slutty girls become possessed by Tex Avery wolves, I think many of them will find great inspiration from Madison's daring take on this character. Other standouts include Monique Gabrielle's breasts. This is where Fred, Camp, and I came into conflict. While I suggested that her bosoms were "quite fantastic," Fred argued (rather convincingly I must admit) that they were more on the "outstandingly remarkable" side. Camp on the other hand took a far departure from previous arguments, suggesting that they were "volup-tu-riffic!" Fred then called a point of order, censuring Camp's usage of words he (and I am quoting here) "just made up." Many more arguments were made, followed by a brief angry silence, till we all just agreed to disagree.
Anyway for all of you out there pretending not to know who Monique Gabrielle is, she is a frequent participant in movies you'll find your step-dad watching on skin-a-max at 3 in the morning (while praying he goes to bed). Most probably know her best as one of the Emanuelles in a few of those Emanuelle movies. Of course since we are in cliché land here, she (a busty blonde bombshell), plays the nerdy girl who wishes she could be as sexually promiscuous as her friends, but she just cant because then she'd have to take off those darned glasses, and how would she see?
High points in this movie include; appearances by Dick Miller (a frequent flyer in the land of cheesy horror and something of an Icon), and Michele Bauer (a frequent flyer in the land of B-movies, B for boobies of course), who plays his wife. Bauer is onscreen for about 15 seconds in the whole movie but still finds time to show her breasts. Also pay special attention to the scene where Madison strips for the others. The sound effects Fred Olen Ray uses for the various jiggling body parts is more than amusing enough to make you believe that a girl would strip down for her other female friends. There are also a few wild takes coming from the Evil Toon that our quite amusing, he actually comes off as being a pretty fun guy…err wolf that is…until he decides to murder and molest some girls, which I suppose would be rather horrible if the premise weren't so darn silly. Also keep an eye out for a book that is a really lousy knock off of the Necronomicon, and Kung Fu's David Carradine, who is a virtual non-factor in the movie, but still he is in it. He probably just wanted the movie under his film-credits to serve as a resume builder.
The version I own (on DVD, thanks Fred), has some eclectic skits at the beginning of the show that have nothing to do with the movie, although they do establish Director/Writer/Producer/Satan Fred Olen Ray as a pretty sleazy guy, which didn't catch any of us by surprise. Still if I ever run into him at a bar by chance I will feel obliged to buy the guy a drink. Anyway this movie is bad to be sure, but it is bad in a playful sort of way, and for what its worth, it certainly is one of a kind. If that doesn't make you want to watch it, don't forget about the boobs.
Evil Toons cover Image used with permission from HorrorDVDs.com