Return of the Killer Tomatoes

We start in the outer-most frame of this movie. We, the audience, are watching a movie show called "the One Dollar Movie" that just happens to be airing "Return of the killer Tomatoes" (big shock, eh?). After starting to run a much "superior" film, a producer realizes the mistake, and the "real" movie begins.

"Return..." opens in the lab of Dr. Gangreen, an evil genius. It turns out that he was the mastermind behind the initial tomato uprising in "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes", and he's almost ready to try again. Seems he's found a way to use pop music to change tomatoes into deadly tomato-men (evil, greasy Rambo clones).

The Credits follow, which is a montage of older material and set-up material for the film. The theme song is great as well, and deserves an honorable mention. The set-up material involves Wilbur Finnletter (the hero of the first film...kinda) and how he was commended for his actions and has since set up a specialty pizza place. See, tomatoes are now illegal, so pizzas are really interesting (with toppings like gummy bears, peanut butter, and chocolate syrup). One day, while delivering a pizza to Gangreen's place, Finnletter's nephew Chad has a conversation with the doc's sexy assistant, Tara, who isn't exactly al there (gee, I wonder why? hmmm.)

After getting shot down, Chad goes back to the pizza place, where Wilbur is lecturing about the great tomato uprising and the dangers of the Red Menace (no, not Commies). We also meet Matt, Chad's lady-killing best pal and roommate (played by some shmoe named George Clooney). After a great montage from the 1st film, we catch back up with Dr. Gangreen and get to meet his assistant, Igor. Not the typical deformed hunchback; Igor's actually a preppy blond guy that dreams of being a TV newscaster someday.

The 2 Evil Green thumbs go down to check out their latest experiment, which turns out to be a mutant freak (a Fuzzy Tomato. F.T as Tara names him later). Because of this, he's instantly thrown into the garbage. That night, Tara decides that she's had enough, and she rescues F.T and goes in search of the only other person she knows, our hero Chad. She's finds him at work in the pizza place, and after some very straight forward conversation, they end up going back to Chad's place for the night.

The next morning, Matt discovers Tara (in the best of situations) and is ecstatic for Chad. Matt decides that Chad should be happy, because Tara is the perfect woman. Chad agrees, although he finds a problem in the fact that Tara has filled the bath tub up with potting soil.

Gangreen, enraged that Tara ran away, sends Igor to go and find her. He's also send him out to pick up some "special serum" (Toxic waste). Oblivious to al of this, Chad and Tara go out and have a lovely day together that involves a walk on the beach, shopping for toasters, a trip to an adult store, and a mime. The last stop is an organic food store, where the 2 love birds get into a fight about the true nature of Tomatoes (are they good, or are they evil?)

To make up for the argument, Chad takes his lovely lady out to the best restaurant in town, and the unthinkable happens. While Chad is in the restroom, a violin player begins to do his thing, and the sound of the classical music turns Tara into a Tomato!!! After a big pile of chaos, we get the shortest chase scene in cinema history. The next day, all is kosher at Chad's apartment. Well, at least until little F.T accidentally falls out of the window and is attacked by an angry mob. Not to worry, our 3 heroes go on a chase to save our cute, fuzzy, fruit-pet.

After a Benny Hill-Ian chase, we find out that the film (yes the film we're watching) is running low on funds. To raise the much needed cash, director John Debello decides that product placement is the way to go. The film restarts, and goes on as planned...sorta. Thank god for giant corporations.

From there, the film gets over taken by madcap antics including a stereotypical fight (a la "Kill Squad"), everyone's favorite Master of Disguise, and more tomato transformations.

After all of this, Chad ends up finding out about Tara's little secret, and she, being embarrassed, runs away. Sadly, while doing so, she gets captured by Igor and taken back to Gangreen's lair. After some interplay with a random, ordinary tomato, a talking TV and a Playboy Playmate in white lingerie, Our boys and F.T break into Gangreen's place and are, of course, captured.

With nothing else to do, they send F.T out to find Wilbur and bring him back for help. Can Wilbur arrive in time? Can they stop the evil Dr. Gangreen? Be ready for a Disney-esque ending and don't turn off the movie without watching the credits. They're a riot! Oh yeah, and watch out for killer vegetables....

I love this film. I've been a fan of the original "attack..." for years, but I've only just seen this installment. It's great. The acting, the story, the not-so-special ef-x, it's all there. Everyone should see this movie, as it's thoroughly entertaining and a laugh riot. Ph yeah, and this guy named George Clonney is in it? Wonder if he went on to do anything else? Actually, John Astin (TV's Gomez Adams) is in it as well, as Gangreen, and does an outstanding job. He's hilarious. What can I say, I'm a sucker for movies that admit that it's a movie. It's my biggest weakness. Well, that and Buttered Noodles...

If you want a fun film to take your mind off of the real world for 90 minutes, then this is the perfect flick for you. I love it. Plus, I picked it up for 5.99 from my local K-mart, so you can't beat it. Oh yeah, and F.T is the cutest thing ever!!!!! Yes, I'm secure enough in my masculinity to admit it!