| Enter the LaNd of your nightmares! |
| Lep In the Hood |
Lep In the Hood
Reviewed by Bomba
Directed by : Rob Spera
year : 2k
Written By : Doug Hall
Tagline : Evil is in the house
Cast :
Warwick Davis .... Leprechaun
Ice-T .... Mack Daddy
Coolio .... Himself
Anthony Montgomery .... Postmaster P.
Rashaan Nall .... Stray Bullet
Red Grant .... Butch
Lobo Sebastian .... Fontaine Rivera
Ivory Ocean .... Reverend Hamson
Jack Ong .... Chow Yung Pi
Bebe Drake .... Post's Mother
Donna M. Perkins .... Jackie Dee's Wife
I suppose that the "fish out of water" formula for storytelling is one of the purest, classical, frameworks one could ask for. If you take X character and put X character in a Y environment that he is not used to hilarity will undoubtedly ensue (or maybe not). A lot of Pauly Shore movies follow the "Fish out of Water" formula. Admittedly Pauly Shore movies are bad examples, and bad movies, but they still follow the formula. Pauly Shore usually plays the fish, all "stoked and tweaking on his melon," he goes to a place where they don't appreciate the "weasel" or his fondness for "noshing on his grindage" or whatever. If he were still in a land where people appreciated the weasel (and I couldn't imagine such a land) than he wouldn't be a fish out of water, and therefore we wouldn't have a movie (and how great that would be). Anyway other examples of bad "fish out of water" tales include ALF, Suburban Commando, and Crocodile Dundee II. There are good examples of "fish out of water stories," but I don't feel like pointing them out because thinking about Pauley Shore movies put me in a lousy mood.
Anyway this time tested storytelling approach is never more strained than it is in the abomination known only as, "Leprechaun in the Hood." If the Leprechaun is the fish, than the hood certainly isn't his water ya know what I'm saying? How will the hood react to the Leprechaun, and his river-dancing Irish folklore ways? How will the Leprechaun adjust to the hood when he is used to hanging about the fields of Ireland, Las Vegas, or in outer space (more on that another time)? What would happen if the Leprechaun rapped, had fly girls, and smoked blunts? Wouldn't you just love to have the answer to all of these questions?! Well I certainly wouldn't, and I'm sure many others weren't exactly waiting around either, but anyway all of those answers and so much more can be found in this abysmally bad outing.
This of course is the fifth part of the beloved Leprechaun franchise. It all starts when Ice-T, who seems to keep steady work and shouldn't have had to do this, steals a magical flute from the Leprechaun (whom my friends and I refer to simply as, "the Lep"), and leaves him encased in stone. Cut to several years later when we find that Ice-T, who plays a character named "Mack Daddy" (presumably he did not base his character on the one kid from the legendary rap group; Kriss-Kross), has used the power of the flute to bring him out of his ghetto world and into that of a rich, powerful, record mogul. Next we are introduced to our "heroes," a small rap trio trying to make it big. They consist of "Postmaster P" (hopefully that name was some sort of slant on the ridiculously-awful Master P) who is played by the "Enterprises" Anthony Montgomery, Stray Bullet, and Butch who apparently drew the short straw when the three designated names. Anyway the 3 go to Mack Daddy, try to get a record deal, fail, and accidentally awaken the stone-encased Lep, who Mack Daddy has been keeping around as a conversation piece. Then hilarity finally ensues. And by hilarity I mean teeth-gritting, ear-bleeding, vomit-inducing pain. Oh and of course the Leprechaun, "wants his gold!"
This movie hides behind a "so bad it's good, so preposterous it's funny" guise, but let me assure you, this movie is so bad it's horrible, and it isn't funny, just very very sad. It is, of course, filled with hip-hop references supposedly authentic to the ghetto and the hood itself, but more likely the people behind this movie learned everything they "know" about "thug life" from their rural suburban homes watching movies starring various no-limit soldiers on their mother's jumbo screened televisions. It's kind of funny to think that in the future some will form their mental images of "hood life" from the framework presented in "Leprechaun in the Hood." Don't get me wrong, I have never been to "the ghetto," so as Naughty By Nature once instructed me, I will stay the f*ck out of the ghetto, but I doubt that this is an accurate representation. And really, when is the last time anyone used the term "fly girls"? Sure "In Living Color" used it, but not until "Lep in the Hood" have trampy women been referred to by that label.
Anyway some things to keep your eye out for in this movie: first off the rap in the church. A small part of me died when I heard our 3 "heroes" rap; "Jesus loves me this I know, and if he don't then find a ho." Also Coolio shows up in this sequence just to add to the suck content of the flick. Good one Coolio! A lot of the humor in this movie is very Scooby-doo-esque; with the Lep popping up and the stars not noticing it for a second, then thinking everything is calm, then noticing him doing his Leprechaun stuff and scream-taking it out the door. At one point they consult a "Leprechauns for Dummies," book. This would be a hilarious gag if my brains were replaced by rat droppings (like Rick Sloan's were). According to said book, Leprechauns are, in fact, the "evil dark elves of Satan." Now I am not completely in the know about everything written in the bible, but I doubt if that little tidbit is taught to bible-schoolers as dogmatic truth. There is one line in this movie that nearly had me in actual tears, and it refers to what the Lep is doing to his "fly girl" slaves. Apparently he enslaves these young women, takes them to his lair, and to quote Butch: "he be f*ckin them to death." Needless to say it creates an extremely unwelcome mental image. The thought of his short, wrinkled, fanged, hairy, pointy-eared, little body even in the act is bad enough, but to the death?!? That's just too too much. Another problem I had with this movie is that between the scenes when our heroes dress as women to sneak into the Lep's lair, and the scene where the Lep rhymes, "a friend with weed is a friend indeed," my I.Q dropped an impressive 25 points. I am now borderline retarded thanks to this movie.
Anyway of all the things wrong with this "film" what got me the most of all is that there was no pay-off. We endure this…thing, for what seems like hours and the Lep never even gets killed. Even in a movie this bad we want a pay-off, instead we get a rap followed by another rap. The second performed by the Lep himself, who might sum it up best of all; "Lep in the hood up to doing no good."
HELPER CHARACTERS!!!!
"dark elves of SATAN?!?!?! Does not compute!" - ip-tor
"This guy used to be Willow AND Wicket!" - samuel
"recent evidence leads us to believe that Lep part 6, "back in the hood" will be coming soon. be prepared" - Percy